And I will keep watch to see what the Lord will say, and how I should answer when He speaks strong words to me. Habakuk 2:1

This is the strangest waiting game of my life... and the point is that it isn't a game.. this IS my life.

I keep trying to tell myself to give up.  That it will be easier if I admit that this is an end and that he will never choose to fight for me.  This also happens to be what everyone on the outside is telling me at the moment. But everything inside of me refuses to hear that.  Maybe this refusal is out of pride, or naivety, I've been known to be both.  But what if, just maybe, this is a refusal from the Holy Spirit, whom I have been pleading with for so many years now to change my husbands heart.  What if this inability to give up is His gentle urging to wait... wait for a miracle, wait for redemption, wait for the perfect restoration work of Jesus Christ.  Of course, some may call this wishful thinking, and maybe it is.  I prefer to call it faith, and at the moment it is all I have to hold on to so I do not plan on letting go any time soon.